Yes, Virginia, I do Believe!

I had a very very bumpy November.
Enough to say that I survived it.
The Family as well survived it, though
I cannot say they did so without scars.

I truly "lost" it for a few weeks. I am
now seeing my Dr. regularly and am on
some medication that seems to be working
wonders in my well being.

I thought that I was "through the change"
without a mark on me. It appears I was not
entirely correct in this issue.

All I want to recount of this is that I
moved out. I liked being on my own in
certain respects. I loved having my own
space and being in charge of it.
What I could not tolerate and did not realize
before going through all of this is that how
deep my true love for my husband is.

Why I did not listen when I knew the grass is
NOT greener on the other side of the fence, is
beyond me at this time. I only know that I had
to go through what I did to come out on this
side feeling better about it all.

I found out how very very deep my husband's love
goes. He was so good about everything I put him
through, and still is. Guess he got a bit scared
too...eh?

Anyway, I am home now. I will do my best to make
things better and keep improving upon myself.

I am getting stronger physically than I have ever been
in my entire life. I feel the muscles responding more
every time I use them. I am trying some new exercises
to keep my flexibility up and myself from becoming bored.

I realize that exercising will never be "fun" for me, but
that I must seek types of it that I can enjoy.

My only regret of this past month, November, is that I
did not talk to my Family about how panicked I was feeling.
I did not realize that it was maybe a chemical imbalance.
I only saw the short term. I could not seem to se beyond it
and now I do.

Whatever happens next, I will do my best to let folks close
to me know what is going on in my mind and my heart.

November was filled with sad times, but ended with so many
good times that I really KNOW what being Thankfull means
this year.

I believe in me. I believe in my Family's love for me.
I at last begin to truly believe IN ME!

It has taken me way too long, but at last I see
what other people have been trying to tell me.

YES! The glass is again half full! My attitude
is changing again to a positive one. No more
negative thoughts allowed. They have ruled me way
too long. My outward happiness that I showed the
world will again be mine on the inside as well.

I will defeat my defeat. I will claim my success.
Yes, I do Believe!

Santa is in our hearts. So is God. Let us all rejoice!

Hugs to you all and HUGS to me as well...it is no
longer selfish to do so.

More next time.

Hugs

Katie